There are a couple things that I love, ok really a few of them.
Probably the two biggest ones though are reading, and hanging out with friends. Not necessarily in that order of course.
Tonight was fun. People came over, we ate fabulous Ice cream sundaes.
We Laughed.
We talked.
We reminisced.
It was fabulous.
And then there's the aftermath of it all. The same thing that happens every time.
When the foods gone, the conversation has died out and everyone goes their way, it's there.
That hollow feeling inside.
It doesn't hurt, it maybe aches a little.
But mostly it's just miserable. I don't know what it is. What started the whole trend of it. But it's been there for years.
When the party's over, and everyone's gone I feel so terribly alone. I hate it.
It seems it started when I was really young.
My mom tells me when I was a little girl and she'd pick me up from the babysitters I had one question I asked everyday on the way home.
Can I invite someone to come over.
It's a terrible feeling and I hope that someday I will find the root of it all and be able to wipe it out of existence because, this one small feeling, is on that I can honestly say I hate.
Here's to working towards the future.
To learning that when everyone has left and I'm alone, physically. God is still there.
And to realizing that being alone with yourself isn't a bad thing.
There is a quote in the book "Eat Pray Love" and Im not at home and I dont have a copy of the book with me... but shes in Italy, its late at night. She's in her apartment all by herself. And she's like what the heck is wrong with me!? But then she decides to "learn how to be lonely". Dont see it as a negative time of sadness and despair. See it as time to spend with your self and learn how to love yourself during that time! <3
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